march of last year, was a rough patch in my life that i hit rock bottom, it escalated into a blow out of feelings that where held up inside for along time, had postpartum depression after nathaniel was born i didn't feel happy anymore, didn't feel like my happy self, i just was in a black cloud that dragged me down and was so miserable i lost touch of family and friends, no one knew i was in a mental state that last this long. husband stopped supporting me and still does, he does not see me as his wife, he never respected me at all, only when he felt like it or was able to acknowledge me but that is that because its been a year now, living with my parents and can't afford to buy myself anything, but they support me since they've been there for me through all this crap, and still has no idea when he will give me any money, since i take care of nathaniel more than he does, since i don't work, but should receive money since i do take full responsibility of nathaniel. its just annoying that he works, i've tried looking for work and its not that easy but he was telling me today to find a crappy job and start from there, i'd rather have benefits than have nothing because paying out of pocket can be expensive and soon no money left to get what ya need. since taking lithium for a year, i sure feel better, clear head with a little whisper at times but its just stress from the divorce process and the separation from nathaniel when he's not with me. went to taylor college in belleview, fl on january 26th-30th and received a certificate from the class and now next wedneday i will be taking a state exam for cna. taking a skills test, and a computer written test, too. have confidence in myself and think of positive thoughts which uplifts me to bring me up and keep focus on my goal. i didn't pass but have 2 more chances left to make my goal, have to wait another month and take it again, was upset at myself but cooled down and next time will be better.
